


Uncertainty

by MayaMarkova



Series: Dialogues of the Dead and the Undead [1]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Burning of the Ships at Losgar, Gen, Halls of Mandos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:02:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27336865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayaMarkova/pseuds/MayaMarkova
Summary: Fëanor's spirit sees in a tapestry an important event he does not remember, and doubts his sanity. Námo sets him straight.
Series: Dialogues of the Dead and the Undead [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996072
Comments: 9
Kudos: 20





	Uncertainty

‘Anything new?’ Námo asked. It was clear that the shy Maia in front of him wanted to say something but didn’t know how to start.

‘You told me to report if Fëanáro’s attitude changes…’

‘Has it?’

‘I think so. He seems to me insecure, maybe even shocked. And I don’t see even a trace of his initial arrogance.’

Námo expected such a change as soon as Fëanáro would see his eldest son captured and tortured as a result of his father’s brilliant idea to leave Valinor and settle in the dangerous proximity of Melkor. But had it happened already? Being a Vala with perfect vivid memory and detailed insights into the future had the unpleasant downside of losing track of the present moment. To locate the current “now” on the temporal continuum, Námo often had to resort to a calendar. He looked at the sheet propped over his desk and saw that, indeed, it was too early.

‘Thank you. I’ll see what’s going on.’

After dismissing the Maia, Námo projected himself to the cell of the kinslayer in-chief. Indeed, Fëanáro’s arrogance could not be seen anymore, and he was looking confused.

‘Are you beginning to see your mistakes in life?’ Námo asked. “Mistakes”, of course, was a too mild descriptor for Fëanáro’s recent deeds.

‘Worse,’ the spirit candidly replied. ‘I see that I have gone mad.’

‘Good,’ Námo commented. ‘Not that this was a secret to anybody.’

‘Indeed, many have called me mad,’ Fëanáro said thoughtfully. ‘But I thought that they were using the word in its figurative meaning, that is, reckless, imprudent, and unwise. I realize now that I am mad in the literal meaning, disconnected from reality.’

Before pulling a sword at his brother, starting a rebellion, and slaying the Teleri, Fëanáro had engaged himself with linguistic studies, among other things. Námo wished he had stuck to this relatively harmless occupation.

‘And how did you find out that you are mad?’ he asked.

Fëanáro pointed at a large, colorful tapestry occupying one of the walls. Námo looked at it and suddenly understood everything, but hid his reaction. He wished to hear what the spirit had to say.

‘The tapestries of Lady Vairë…’ Fëanáro started. ‘…They reflect the reality. I saw many events that I remember… But this one shows my youngest son Ambarto, burned to death in one of the ships at Losgar…’

‘And you have belatedly got the insight that it is bad to harm one’s children?’

‘Yes, and I am even more troubled because I cannot remember the incident. And I didn’t even have a head injury that could explain the loss of memory. In fact, my last memory from life is my sons saying farewell to me, and they were all there, including Ambarto. So it must be madness. I have killed my child, and who knows what more I have done in my madness without remembering it!’

Námo wished so badly to make the kinslayer suffer that seriously considered leaving him to these thoughts. But it would be wrong, and the personnel of Mandos had clearly made a mistake. So he started explaining.

‘When an object of some importance is destroyed, its shadow ends up here,’ he said. ‘For example, your folly at Losgar brought us the most beautiful ships that have ever sailed the seas…’

Fëanáro said nothing but thought that it was easy to praise those ships when one had not been forced to sail on them.

‘…And after you left Tirion,’ Námo continued, ‘its remaining inhabitants started burning all sorts of objects to get some warmth and light. Furniture, works of art, books… We have made a huge library.’

Fëanáro was saddened.

‘Most of the scientific volumes cannot find any audience here, but my wife was interested in one of them. It claimed that you cannot know with certainty both the position and the momentum of a body…’

‘Oh yes, the uncertainty principle!’ Fëanáro exclaimed. He had forgotten his plight for the moment, and looked almost alive. ‘Some young scholars put it forward… Very interesting! I wanted to check it properly, but never had the time.’

‘…It inspired my wife to include in her weaving not only what had happened, but what could happen. The tapestries of possible events are labeled by a yellow band across the bottom right corner, as you see on this one. They had to tell you. So the reason you do not remember burning your son is that it could take place but did not. You are not mad in the literal sense, only in the figurative one.’

‘So Ambarto is alive after all?’

‘Yes. Your Oath will eventually destroy all of your sons, but for now, they are alive.’ Námo wanted to tell Fëanáro to concentrate on the tapestries depicting his _eldest_ , but then thought better and left. After such a nasty shock due to a misunderstanding, several days of rest were well deserved. Everything would come to pass anyway, in due time.

**Author's Note:**

> The series includes dialogues in which at least one of the participants is dead, or which feature the dead. I tried to make the conversations creepy and at the same time tongue-in-cheek. The title of the series is borrowed from Lucian’s _Dialogues of the Dead_.  
> The belief that destroyed objects end up in the underworld is found in some pre-Columbian New World cultures, as well as in Terry Pratchett.  
> I have no idea whether Tolkien's Elves could get amnesia after traumatic brain injury. I don't remember such a case, and I doubt it is possible, because their spirits are not as dependent on their brains as ours are. But in this dialogue, it seemed logical to include this possibility.


End file.
